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Best Publication in London 2025

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Humour
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Satire

Satirical news stories based on current events at UCL

UCL bans straight people for Valentine’s Day

Satire / 13 February 2025

Vending Machines in SC

Vending machine rebellion occupies Student Centre

Satire / 13 February 2025

The Woke UCL East Agenda

The Cheese Grater will not succumb to the woke UCL East agenda

Satire / 11 February 2025

The Cheese Grater banned from UCL charity swimathon after drowning incident

Satire / 3 February 2025

Michael Spence

All in a day’s work: UCL wraps up investment review in one day

Satire / 3 February 2025

Any way you slice it, we’re better

Satire / 3 February 2025

Disgraced Union President stole a carton of juice

Satire / 2 February 2025

Working toilet found in Student Centre on first try

Satire / 2 February 2025

Special UCL taskforce foils terror threat

Satire / 2 February 2025

Computer Science student makes history dating AI scam bot

Satire / 2 February 2025

‘I’m more than just an Oxbridge reject’

Satire / 2 February 2025

Virus

The ‘thing going around at the moment’ knocks out entire UCL student population

Satire / 24 November 2024

Spotted on UCLove…

Satire / 11 November 2024

Jeremy Bentham returns from the Shadow Realm to haunt UCL students

Satire / 31 October 2024

Spooking the market: Scala ticket value skyrockets on Halloween

Satire / 31 October 2024

Man in white T-shirt and jeans at Halloween party insists he’s Homer Simpson

Satire / 31 October 2024

Credit: Pexels

Terrorism Society banned INSTANTLY

Satire / 27 October 2024

Union to merge all political societies

Satire / 27 October 2024

Chaos after Tory-led freshers’ fair riot

Satire / 16 October 2024

Sack of potatoes in pole position for Tory leader

Satire / 13 October 2024

Remember your place, losers

Satire / 1 October 2024

Cheese Grater Satire Team at Risk of Closure

Satire / 3 May 2024

Latest Name Revealed in Epstein Court Documents: Climate Change

Satire / 3 May 2024

‘Toxic Gossip Train’ (Rebekah’s Version)

Satire / 11 April 2024

Keir Starmer… A Day in the Life

Satire / 10 January 2024

Progressive Policy Suggestions for Keir Starmer

Satire / 10 January 2024

AITA for rebelling against my family and faith by dating a short-sighted girl?

Satire / 10 January 2024

Clearing the air.

Satire / 3 October 2022

Breaking News: Influencers Have Completely Lost It As Instagram Enters Its 6th Hour of Not Working

Satire / 11 November 2021

Cheese Grater Admits to Endorsing SU Agenda

Satire / 11 November 2021

UCL’s Plan to Keep Our Tuition Fees, Exposé by Billy Fresher

Satire / 13 August 2021

The Unspoken Impact of COVID-19

Satire / 29 July 2021

An Article that is Not About the Pandemic

Satire / 26 February 2021

Crisis on the Central Line

Satire / 26 February 2021

UCL Careers

Updated UCL Careers Advice

Satire / 29 January 2021

Priti Patel Retrains as the Child Snatcher

Satire / 4 December 2020

Boris Serves Tea, Casual Racism and Misogyny

Satire / 31 January 2020

Loose Lips Might Sink Trade Negotiations

Satire / 31 January 2020

Boris did THAT?

Satire / 12 December 2019

European Migration: The Cheese Grater’s Plan

Satire / 12 December 2019

Labour’s New Leadership Hopefuls

Satire / 12 December 2019

Merry Christmas from Universities UK!

Satire / 12 December 2019

‘Future Leaders or Fun-Killing, School-Missing, Planet-Destroying Idiots? An Objective Take on Youth Climate Strikers in 2019′

Satire / 22 September 2019

Provost thoughts

Satire / 21 March 2019

The search for the next Provost begins

Satire / 21 March 2019

Giving head: Jeremy Bentham speaks

Satire / 21 March 2019

Special announcement for commuters

Satire / 5 February 2019

The Fuzz: UCL’s quality online magazine

Satire / 5 February 2019

IMPORTANT New exam venue details

Satire / 5 February 2019

Students’ Union under fire as emotional support dog exposes harsh treatment

Satire / 5 February 2019

A sneak peak into our next issue…

Satire / 11 December 2018

#UCLCares

Satire / 11 December 2018

Labour’s Brexit position revealed

Satire / 11 December 2018

Interview: Jordan “B” Peterson

Satire / 11 December 2018

Free Bike Maintenance

Satire / 30 October 2018

Dear All, The UCL administrative service for ‘timetabling and dissemination of basic information’ has exceeded expectations this year, yet again! Students are now expected to register with our new online service, the ‘Alternative Bureau for Your Student Services’, or ‘ABYSS’. To add to UCL’s ‘Moodle’ and ‘Portico’, the new ‘ABYSS’ platform is expected to be a place where students can now voice their growing aggravations towards an already terrible and convoluted system. Robert Bodden, the coordinator for student ‘Timetable Worries and Torments’ platform, or ‘TWAT’, says ‘students are asked to gather up their grievances (wherever they may manifest) and throw them as hard as physically possible into the new ‘ABYSS’ system, where within 3-5 business years, someone should get around to emailing you back concerning the nature of the problems.’ Until the system comes into practice, students will be informed that the location of their lectures by the new smoke signalling system that will emanate from the Main Quad at EXACTLY 8.23am each morning. In an effort to streamline the link between both professors and students, UCL has decided to simplify the method as much as possible; lecturers are asked to bring their own firewood (if this isn’t possible, we ask lecturers to instead bring copies of their published works. Editions pre-1975 welcomed, hardbacks preferred.) Should students fail to make it to the smoke signalling extravaganza, they have kindly been asked by Mr Bodden to stop existing in objective reality altogether. Thank you.

IMPORTANT: Timetabling Update

Satire / 30 October 2018

Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary, speaks from behind a podium, in front of a Union flag, at a press conference in 2017

Exclusive: Boris Johnson’s first speech as Prime Minister

Satire / 30 October 2018

In conversation with… Michael Arthur

Satire / 30 October 2018

UC(tel)L(y)

Satire / 30 October 2018

Drug Talk: Theresa May Talks Running Through a Field of Weed

Satire / 14 May 2018

UCL’s White Christmas

Satire / 9 February 2018

The Cheese Grater At Risk Of Closure

Satire / 4 February 2018

“Regal Carpet” Review

Satire / 28 January 2018

Catering at UCL

A.A. Gill, Back From The Dead, Comes To UCL

Satire / 26 January 2018

Theresa May’s Diary Leaked To Press

Satire / 25 January 2018

A Quick Catch Up With Ed Miliband

Satire / 25 January 2018

We Interviewed Bellogate Expert Mr Replé Aull About Today’s Shenanigans

Satire / 3 January 2018

Israel-Palestine Conflict Resolved In Comments Section Of The Guardian

Satire / 13 December 2017

I Quit My Day Job To Travel The World

Satire / 13 December 2017

The Tab Caves To Student Pressure

Satire / 13 December 2017

Uber’s London Licence Extended Indefinitely

Satire / 27 November 2017

Fresher Wonders Why No One Will Talk To Him As Social Grace Period Ends

Satire / 27 November 2017

Exclusive: Union Changes Its Name Again

Satire / 20 October 2017

UCL Pioneers Way To Improve Student Satisfaction

Satire / 2 October 2017

A crowd of students wearing black graduation gowns

What your course looks like, according to everyone else

Satire / 24 March 2017

That controversial David Cameron speech in full

Satire / 24 March 2017

Wow! This guy’s predictions from 100 years ago will blow your mind!

Satire / 24 March 2017

“Condiments of the Stars” – This week, Jeremy Corbyn’s Favourite Jams!

Satire / 14 February 2017

Donald Trump Inauguration Speech “Plagiarised Hussein”

Satire / 14 February 2017

This man’s reaction to getting pranked was absolutely priceless!

Satire / 3 February 2017

SAVAGE, UCLU’s Premier Arts and Culture Journal, Interviews Ed Balls

Satire / 3 February 2017

Theresa May’s Neonatal Passport Checks

Satire / 22 January 2017

SAVAGE interviews Christmas’ most controversial figurehead, Santa Claus

Satire / 6 December 2016

Pi Comment: Why, at 21, I’m rejecting the damaging Santa Claus myth

Satire / 5 December 2016

The Herstory of the Potato

Satire / 4 March 2016

The Provost’s Dream Diary

Satire / 4 February 2015

An Exclusive Interview with Richard d’Urquhart

Satire / 5 March 2014

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The Digestive is our fortnightly newsletter, covering the latest campus news, satire, and student discourse every other Monday during term time.

Latest News

Down Your Union: Sabb visits Student Centre toilets on birthday – and more

Fossil fuel sponsorship ban oppressive and discriminatory, engineers claim in desperate rant

Union to back Fossil Free Careers after two years of political ping-pong

Ramsay Hall residents to receive refund for catering mayhem

Phineas ‘Liberate’ Gallery launches to celebrate marginalised artists

Voices

The Cemetery of Social Connection: On the death of humour

UCL’s Japanese Garden is glorifying imperial legacies

17 February 2025

A case for raving: Losing yourself in an amorphous body

17 February 2025

Reviews

Carousel review – A touching rendition of an American cult-classic

Aristophanes’ Frogs review – Unhinged, playful, and extremely gay

16 February 2025

Rhapsody review – Annual showcase blows the roof off Bloomsbury

11 February 2025

Corrections

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