As it turns out, entering the UK job market this year won’t be quite as easy as walking into the US capitol. What with the ongoing pandemic and incoming recession, 2021 is a pretty spicy time to be leaving university. Well – not to worry! UCL Careers have compiled a list of possible options for final-year students to help them navigate these tricky waters.

  1. Extinguish all hopes you had of a career in the arts. If you did a BSc in Cyber, fantastic. If not, it’s time to retrain.
  2. Forgo a Master’s degree in favour of therapy. You’re going to need psychological help much more than additional qualifications.
  3. Qualify as an optometrist. Apparently, you get to work in the wonderful historical site of Barnard Castle.
  4. Leave Britain. You won’t get a job in this trash heap, so you’d better Brexit ASAP. On the bright side, you do have a degree from London’s Global University.
  5. If all else fails, why not consider a career as Secretary of State for Health? This highly coveted role has been proven to require absolutely no relevant experience or skills.