“Regal Carpet” Review

Not quite a “Crapet” but certainly quite crap in some respects

I found this carpet quite sturdy and it almost fully supports me, but I’m still not entirely convinced. It says “flammable” on the tin, but I’m not really sure how to take advantage of this, and the instructions are quite unhelpful. Furthermore, the carpet is off-cream, or off-white, depending on how you look at it. This is confusing, and distracts me from other activities, such as feeding the fish and doing my morning workout.

I am a keen tap dancer, so you can imagine my utter delight at the two tap dance shoes that came with the carpet – only for me to find that they were glued together. I am thoroughly disappointed by this, and cannot stress how much fun I’ve not been able to have as a result of this. I have to tap dance in my socks, and it’s just not the same.

The carpet deals excellently with stains. I dropped an entire bucket of sweat over it accidentally and it simply vanished on contact, like magic. There is actually quite a big stain from where the magic happened, but I suppose that life goes on.

I dislike the way in which the carpet sometimes opens up, revealing the endless abyss below and sucking everything into it. I think this is quite impractical as it means I have to nail myself to the sofa when I want to watch TV.

Overall, I think the carpet is adequate for my purposes, but not quite as regal as the name suggests.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

3 out of 5 stars

By Mr. F. Jones