Latest Name Revealed in Epstein Court Documents: Climate Change

Izzie Moull

UCL’s Cheese Grater Magazine has been given exclusive access to the latest Epstein court documents and can report one surprising name on the list; Climate Change.

This name has come as a shock to many, however here at The Cheese Grater we have to ask: should we really be surprised? Although Climate Change has been a household name since the 90s, we’ve actually only seen action from them in the past 10 or so years which aligns nicely with the ending of Epstein’s island getaways. 

We all also know that Climate Change has gained most of its power and infamy through CO2 emissions, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that they’ve been named on the lists, after all how were the celebrities getting to the island? Private jets! Climate Change has been accepting payments (Wergeld) from Epstein in order to prevent the sea from ultimately swallowing his precious pedophillic paradise.

Certainly, if Climate Change had started acting sooner, then maybe the Island would have been underwater and many vulnerable young girls saved. A digital simulation of this is presented above. With all this considered it’s unsurprising that Climate change has been named, Climate change had the potential to stop Epstein and his cronies by drowning their crime scene but chose to take increased power instead. Shameful.