The search for the next Provost begins

Michael Arthur will be stepping down as Provost at the end of September 2020, and the search is on for his successor. The Cheese Grater reviews the candidates.

Michael Arrr-thur

Strengths: plundering experience (valuable fundraising skills)
Weaknesses: has scurvy

Lil Provost

Strengths: 250,000 followers on Soundcloud
Weaknesses: literally everything else

Arthur Michael (1853–1942)

Strengths: American organic chemist best known for the Michael reaction.
Weaknesses: dead

Jeremy Bentham’s head

Strengths: crowd favourite
Weaknesses: poor track record of resolving industrial disputes

That egg off Instagram

Strengths: didn’t lose a no-confidence vote while Vice-Chancellor of Leeds University
Weaknesses: too famous

The rat from the refectory

Strengths: sneaky
Weaknesses: vector for disease

Morchel Orthur

Strengths: four arms
Weaknesses: likes outsourcing

Machael Athoor

Strengths: unknown
Weaknesses: unknown

Arthur (the aardvark)

Strengths: wants to learn to work and play and get along with each other (hey)
Weaknesses: fictional boy aardvark

This appeared in CG 66.
Featured image: Bethany Khan via Creative Commons License CC BY-ND 2.0.