Michael Arthur will be stepping down as Provost at the end of September 2020, and the search is on for his successor. The Cheese Grater reviews the candidates.
Michael Arrr-thur
Strengths: plundering experience (valuable fundraising skills)
Weaknesses: has scurvy
Lil Provost
Strengths: 250,000 followers on Soundcloud
Weaknesses: literally everything else
Arthur Michael (1853–1942)
Strengths: American organic chemist best known for the Michael reaction.
Weaknesses: dead
Jeremy Bentham’s head
Strengths: crowd favourite
Weaknesses: poor track record of resolving industrial disputes
That egg off Instagram
Strengths: didn’t lose a no-confidence vote while Vice-Chancellor of Leeds University
Weaknesses: too famous
The rat from the refectory
Strengths: sneaky
Weaknesses: vector for disease
Morchel Orthur
Strengths: four arms
Weaknesses: likes outsourcing
Machael Athoor
Strengths: unknown
Weaknesses: unknown
Arthur (the aardvark)
Strengths: wants to learn to work and play and get along with each other (hey)
Weaknesses: fictional boy aardvark
This appeared in CG 66.
Featured image: Bethany Khan via Creative Commons License CC BY-ND 2.0.