The pandemic has affected everyone. The news is riddled with stories of people losing their jobs, their relatives and their homes… yet, no one ever speaks about the profound effect this pandemic has had on us: the British middle and upper classes. Due to Covid-19, we have had to endure the loss of multiple ski seasons, so cruelly torn away from us.

Spare a thought for those of us who have had to spend yet another winter unable to ski down the snowy mountains of St Moritz. Those of us who have been unable to enjoy a warm glass of glühwein in the chalets of Gstaad, instead making do with a measly hot chocolate on the rolling hills of Surrey. Oh, how I long to spend upwards of £3000 on new ski gear I will only wear twice a year! I even feel nostalgic for the time a celebrity ran me over on her skis on the glistening slopes of Courchevel.

So while you complain about what the pandemic has taken from you, take a moment to think of us – the Jaspers, Hugos and Cecilias of the world – who have been deprived of ski season: the central pillar of modern culture.