No matter the weather, you’ll always see someone smoking outside your lecture hall, the Student Centre, or IOE.
Cigarette butts are constantly found lying around Gower Street, Gordon Street, and Bedford Way. But, with the sun out and London is finally slowly transitioning from winter to summer (bless, it’s already June), even more people are emerging from hibernation to hang out and smoke outside.
And, with Tiktok’s making cigarettes cool again (isn’t it always cool?), that one Hudson William smoking in Milan photo, and the “I smoked every Chinese cigarette so you don’t have to” video, it seems like it’s about time we give you a guide to some of the main smoking spots around campus. Smoke free UCL my arse.
(this is not an endorsement of smoking, I guess??)
5. Your accom.
Very much annoying to all of your flatmates, completely against the accommodation policies, and risks burning down the whole building. Not the best experience, needing to extend your arms out of that teeny tiny gap that your suicide prevention window allows, can’t exactly breathe out all the time or your room and carpet smell like smoke, and the security guards will realise you’ve been smoking.
Although we understand it, going up and down 2 floors is awfully annoying, and the walks of shame when the security sees you having a smoke break for the fifth time this hour. But honestly? Just go outside…
4. Portico!
Who wouldn’t like to look out from the steps of the portico with a cigarette? Not only is this against the university policies (and you’ll be risking a fine), but on a rare sunny day in London, sitting on the white steps with a cigarette in hand, eh. Looking at those bronze arses and sixth form students touring the place all jolly and such… Seems cool to do, but you’ll probably need to constantly hide your cigarette from the security guards walking around, which is very much uncool.
3. Outside your departmental building (unless it’s inside campus… then womp womp)
The perfect spot to share a cigarette with your lecturers, have a chat about the weather or the essay/dissertation due next week. Bonus point if you lend a light to anyone from your department! Although depending on where your department building is, there might be some occasional tweaker or cokehead walking by – nothing you don’t see on a random Tuesday, or if you’re lucky, you might bump into the guy who walks around with the speaker on his back…
2. Malet place or Gordon square, whichever’s closer
EVERYONE is always there. Your ex is there, your PGTAs are there, your students are there (for the post-grads and lecturers/professors reading). Probably the only two spots where you will willingly share a smoke with the person you hate the most just because you’re a nice person and this is the closest smoking area you can find on campus. It really brings together anyone and everyone.
1. Institute.
Best place ever. Grab a pint or cocktails (3 for 15!) and go to The Cheese Grater’s favourite pub and sit outside in the sun. Even though they barred up an area to be non-smoking, there’s still plenty of space for everyone to have a drunk cig. There’s honestly not much else to say other than The Graters have their fair share of cigs with a pint there, that should tell you everything.
This article appeared in CG98.