Chuck Brody’s Totally-Not-Government-Sponsored Tips & Tricks to Bypassing The Online Safety Act

Hey guys, it’s me again, Chuck Brody! Lion of the Gym, Tiger of the Pub, and Cougar of the Bedroom.

You’re probably wondering how I’m doing. Well, as a matter of fact, I’ve actually managed to achieve the world’s first 10-pack chest after grinding for months in the gym and  visiting my plastic surgeon for completely unrelated reasons.

Now you’re no doubt thinking, ‘What’s the Lion of the Gym doing writing about this Online Safety Act? The act that has arguably restricted a lot of freedom in internet access unless you provide ID verification to a bunch of shady organizations?’ 

That’s a really interesting question you’re asking!

Anyway, I’ve had problems accessing certain sites. For example, I get my protein powder from a guy in Croatia, but the website has been marked as NSFW because a hot babe is used for the website logo.

Thankfully I’ve spoken with some experts to bypass those pesky restrictions. These will take you back to the halcyon days of the early internet where a guy can freely order Croatian protein powder.

MAKE YOUR INFORMATION PUBLIC DOMAIN

National insurance number, debit card numbers, driver’s license, heck, even your passport. And maybe provide even a picture of yourself dating back the last 5 years. I did this and now I never need to worry about the gamble of wondering whether or not I can access a certain website!

You could argue that there are potential drawbacks to making your debit card public domain, but I can guarantee that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks by a wide margin. Besides, I spend all my money as soon as I get paid. Thieves can’t steal from you if you have nothing that can be stolen. Which leads me smoothly to my next tip.

INVEST IN SURVEILLANCE COMPANIES 

You got your paycheck, rent, bills, and food all sorted. You have to spend the rest of your money before your public domain debit card is nabbed by those pesky thieves. But you’re smarter than them, because you have me, Chuck Brody, as your mentor. 

Investing in Persona, the identity verification service operating under the online safety act, is one of the smartest moves you can make. 

Now your inquisitive mind is likely thinking, ‘Why am I involving myself with these companies when I’m trying to bypass their operations?’ Well, keen thinker, you don’t need to worry about them taking your data or anything like that because all your information is public domain! And investing is different from gambling, because in gambling there’s a chance you could lose it all. Only rich people invest, you can’t lose, that’s why they’re so rich. 

Time to close out with my final tip, this one’s a good ‘un.

BUY CROATIAN PROTEIN POWDER

Seriously, this is good stuff! I was recommended to it by a guy I met in the pub. Funnily enough, he works in government, so you know he’s a smart guy and politicians never lie, that would be an absolute scandal! He even gave me the inspiration to write this article. 

Good luck on your journey to internet freedom and endless riches, I’ll see you on that first class flight to paradise.