A fresh academic year has just begun, but some students have already found a horrid shock in store for them. After re- ceiving tip-offs from anonymous post- grads at UCL, The Cheese Grater can exclusively reveal this breaking scandal: Master’s degrees are not easy.
“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess”, one 21-year-old postgraduate told The Cheese Grater. With tears in her eyes, she estimated that she has been assigned seven papers per module every week. “That’s like, what, 400 pag- es a week? And not even the sort where the last ten pages are footnotes!”.
But the nasty surprises don’t end there for students: “Not only is it a lot of reading, but like, I don’t understand it. I literally don’t understand what any of it means. The words are too long”, another source tells The Cheese Grater. Evidently, UCL failed to communicate any of this to prospective students: “At no point was I told that getting smashed five days a week was simply not an op- tion anymore. I mean yeah, they said it would be harder than undergrad, but this is just taking the piss.” UCL have declined to make a statement.
Fortunately, it seems that some stu- dents have found ways to deal with their misfortune. A source tells us: “Everything is on Zoom now, so I just pretend I’m having technical difficulties when the teacher asks me something”.