7th March 2016
Billy Fresher,
211a Wette House,
Dweeb St.,
Hackney N4 0BZ
Dear Student 12004201,
We are pleased to invite you to the 2016 Graduation Ceremonies, which will be taking place from 6th to 8th of July. Fortunately this year UCL has waived the graduand attendance fee, making graduation much more accessible for everyone. If you wish to attend, you will need to make the following arrangements –
Guest tickets - £40 each (£50 for under fives or over 70s due to extra cleanup costs, £60 for anyone rating below six on the UCL Butters/Boners hotness scale)
Robes - £43, plus £10 per limb, from UCL’s recommended academic dress supplier.
Multi-coloured propellor hat - £17
Wet’n’Wild Portico Log Flume souvenir photos - £6 fridge magnet, £8 novelty keyring, £10 mug, £15 mouse mat
Signed picture with the Provost - £15-30 (price subject to Butters/Boners rating)
‘Cecil the Koptos Lion’ cuddly toy - £25
16 course Pizza Neo ‘Bread-y When You Are’ tasting menu - £79
Jeremy Bentham RealDoll animatronic silicone sexbot - £6,000
UCL Leavers 2016 Fabergé egg - £1.6m
A 2:1 and a deepening sense of worthlessness - £9,000 p.a. (paid in advance)
This year’s ceremonies will take place in the exciting new location of The Bins Behind the North Cloisters. We hope you will attend your graduation ceremony. It is the culmination of many years of study and your degree is a purchase of which you should be proud. Also we could really do with the cash.
Yours sincerely,
Student Support and Events Team