The Time Machine

Satire / 3 March 2016

She Tows

Trouble comes to the Birmingham NEC

Anonymous
The 2016 Abbey Aventura 317

The 2016 Abbey Aventura 317

After the Academy Awards re- ceived fierce criticism in recent weeks over a lack of diversity, other similarly prestigious awards are now facing in- creased scrutiny, revealing some ugly prejudices that many in our society would rather not face.

The Caravan Club’s Caravan De- sign and Lightweight Leisure Trailer Awards, held for the last 21 years at Birmingham’s iconic NEC, has now come under fire from a number of high-profile figures for failing to adequately represent women in its nominees. Laurie Penny, the feminist columnist, tweeted last night: “YET AGAIN no women nominated in the ‘Small Family Caravan’ category. Disgusting. #FemalesNotFiberglass #LabiasNotLightCapacityTowingVe- hicles”

Giants of the leisure world includ- ing the Halfords senior management team and Wyndham Wordwide, the owners of Hoseasons, have also an- nounced their intentions to boycott the event.

Organisers of the award issued a statement insisting “the trailers are judged on their ease of setting up on site, available living area when set up, kitchen and bathroom equipment supplied, position of electric sockets and many other areas. Any sugges- tion of bias or prejudice is unfair, we simply want to find the best caravan.”

Jennifer Lawrence, the only woman to be nominated this year – in the cat- egory of Trailer Tents with Kitchen over £6000 – told The Cheese Grater: “This has been the most incredible year, and I’ve worked with so many amazing directors and estate cars. To find yourself up against caravans and trailers you’ve idolised your whole life, big names such as the Conway Coun- tryman and Pennine Fiesta, is truly humbling. I only hope that the work I’ve done on my on-site setup and chemical waste disposal system will be enough to stand out on the night.”

Lawrence went on to add “Put your phone away, dickweed. We’re talking about the Caravan Design and Light- weight Leisure Trailer Awards, if you put your phone down you’d know that.”

It’s unlikely that the controversy will die down for the awards, as love- able lad and sometime rape apologist Dapper Laughs will be hosting the ceremony. An insider revealed that Ricky Gervais was too expensive, and Dapper was perfect for the job as “he’s been living in a caravan since that Newsnight interview aired anyway.”