Been a fan of Bond ever since my uncle called me a fag and forced me to watch the entire collection back to back after I told him I liked Austin Powers. Thought this film lacked the banter of the Roger Moore era. Now he was the premium Bond! Craig sulks too much, Belucci is too old and Moneypenny is too black. 3/10
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Huzzah! This picture was thoroughly bombardier. Most verily, this was a gem of intricate cinematographic finesse; the onomatopoeic gunshots were a delight - guffaw! I was enthralled by Daniel Craig’s riveting portrayal as the troubled hero as struggling to come to terms with his own ability (and also inability - quelle dom- mage!) The film is a synecdoche for the re- lentless pugnacious nature of Man. Locke once said that... [review continues for another 12 pages] ...before Sam Mendes concludes this epic with a fitting ending. Bond dies. (Spoiler alert!) 8/10
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I arrive at the theatre after reading the trusty online reviews. My palms are sweaty with excitement, my legs are shak- ing, my eyes wide, ready for cinematic stimulation. I take my two seats. I fill my mouth hole with popcorn. Salty. Crunch. Lights fade. Bond appears. I slurp down my coke (diet, no ice; shaken, vigorous- ly). The camera zooms in on Bond’s face. Popcorn again. Now it is sweet. My head spins. Craig looks at the camera again. His brow is moist with vengeance. The music starts blaring. I begin to vibrate in tempo with the music. My eyes haze over. I can basically taste him. Then the wonderful words spread across the screen - NOW IN CINEMAS. I relax. Now I’m ready for ‘Minions’. 10/10