Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a Nazi shouting from outside. “Hallo! If zerre are any Jews hiding in ze atteeks or clohzets, can you please come out schnell? Looking for you is getting vreally tough and ve’re kinda in ze meedle of a var! Please! Come out, come out verrever you are! Ve promeese ve von’t do anytheeng to you! Ve’ll just geeve you as much ice cream as you could ever vant! Kosherre ice cream! Vith up to three toppeengs! I don’t know if ze toppings can be kosherre.” I have to admit, I was curious to see if he was telling the truth. I probably would’ve gone out if my shit had not been so big and messy.
By the time I had finished and cleaned up, he was already done shouting and off shooting some poor schemil. Oy, I could really go for a shtikl of ice cream right now, you know?