Today, an urgent appeal is being launched to save one of the most endan- gered species on the planet. The Ulu (Bu- reaucratus maximus Chessumii) is native to Bloomsbury and is an integral part of the ecosystem, yet only around one per- cent of London students are even aware of its existence; now its Malet Street habitat is under threat from University of London plans which could drive it to extinction. The Ulu is a delicate and tem- peramental animal, ill-suited to almost all environments. It suffers endemic diseases such as Low Turnout and the potentially fatal Lack of Interest; its diet is limited to jacket potatoes, and though it is strongly attracted to the colour red it is fatally un- able to digest poppies.
Already suffering from years of vic- timisation by university managers, the Ulu is thought to have declined to a pop- ulation of just one. We must not let this natural treasure slip from our fingers. Just £22,000 a year could pay for a full-time Ulu preservation specialist. Please, we urge you to dig deep, give what you can and Save The Ulu.