UCL is still reeling from the incredible success of the installation of a large piece of glass in the Wilkins building. Only constructed this summer, the unit has already brought over 850 billion dollars’ worth of investment into the university.
One of the investors, wealthy North American business tycoon Hilary Mc- Shafter, explained his decision to The Cheese Grater “Well, originally I was in Britain to invest in Imperial’s new re- search department – set up to investigate where all their women have gone. But first I decided to swing by my favourite café in all of London – the Costa in the basement of Waterstones on Torrington Place. I was on my way there when I passed this incredible transparent plinth- like structure. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Hilary, these people know their shit.’ I wrote out the cheque there and then. Imperial were pissed, though. I had Robert Winston calling me up, giving me all this BS like, ‘You wanker. You prom- ised us that money. We’ve been shafted.’ And I was like, ‘No, you’ve been McShaft- ed! BOOM!’ And then I hung up.”
The installation has also had a marked impact on student morale, as sociology student Jeff told us. “When I first started at UCL I felt lonely and depressed. I had no friends, no family and my pet iguana had just died. Things were looking bleak. But then I saw the large glass plinth and well, I broke down. To behold such beau- ty, such intense beauty, I collapsed there and then in a fit of hysteric euphoria. Lat- er it turned out that I was actually hav- ing a huge nervous breakdown, but that doesn’t detract from the awesome power of the plinth.”
A senior source from UCL management gave us her thoughts on the plinth. “At UCL we’ve always pioneered radical new initia- tives, from secular teaching to the idea of an underground karaoke bar. The large glass plinth fits exactly with this ethos. I bet if Jer- emy Bentham were alive today, he’d look up at it and say ‘Hot-damn, that’s a good look- ing glass plinth.’”