Nearly 30 students who were selfishly concerned with the results of a recent popu- larity contest have felt slightly miffed after their close friend and now useless ally lost.
Katie Burrows, a second year architec- ture student and friend of the losing candi- date, said: “we were going to use the special privileges of a student representative to get free muffins from the Print Room Cafe. 1 guess we'll just have to carry on stealing them instead. Or make friends with the winner, she seems alright.
Loser of the popularity contest Jon Dell, reluctantly commented: “I am quite cheesed off at losing this popularity contest. Now I'm going to have to secure a job through the more normal method of throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks.”
Many students were “too tired to vote”, but some were more vitriolic towards Jon’s campaign. Dick Brady said: “Jou Dell thought he was the big student politician and tried to give us all a fucking reach-around to garner our votes. That lanky prick can shove his self- righteous, narcissistic, neo-fascist, degener- ate manifesto promises where the sun don’t shine: up my bumhole. He can’t even spell his own fucking name right!”
The winner of the popularity contest told The Cheese Grater, “I am mildly excited to win this popularity contest.” Quizzed on the winning tactics used, the winner replied: “I simply got everyone I know to vote for me, even the weirdoes I haven't talked to since first year. It was awkward, but much less so than shamelessly whoring my CV around town like some sort of middle class Kerry Katona. I'm just glad that I didn’t lose — I wouldn’t have been able to look my Trot faction in the eyes.”
We got an average student’s opinion by accosting an ugly woman waiting for a computer in the queue at the Science library: “What popularity contest? Jon who? Leave me alone, I'm waiting for a computer.”