Left-wing activists and gap year students have declared in- dependence from the Palestin- ian state, having outnumbered the Palestinians in August. They claim that, after being persecuted for their propensity to whinge and complain in their homelands, they came to Palestine to form a nation and ensure their atrocious treatment in Europe would never be repeated.
Activists have already started building communes and adjusting their guitars to “kum- baya tuning”. Hugo Cunning- ham, having earned a deferred place to study History of Art at Durham with his impressive A* AA result at A-level this year, told The Cheese Grater: “After an enormous struggle and exo- dus from oppression in Europe by the political centrists, we must establish a homeland in order to defend our kind and gain legiti- macy on a world platform. We are the primary users of this land and so have the legal right of oc- cupation. If the Palestinians try to get in our way, we... may not be responsible for our actions”. Some “old-school anarchists” are already preparing bottles of wolf urine and jars of fetid potato wa- ter to defend their Middle East- ern squat in case of eviction.
Existing alongside Israel and Palestine, the new “autono- mous zone” has been named The Third Estate. Although there remains some resistance from the Palestinians, an armistice is hoped to be established soon.
“We are simply calling, as we always have, for a Three State solution” said an unnamed bearded layabout. “We plan to bring our resolution to the UN in December of this year.” He later added “No, no... this is the, erm, good type of occupation...”