According to The Guardian (2 February), UCL could soon be rewarding stu- dents who display ‘corporate skills’ through work experience or extra-curricular business knowledge. Following univer- sal acclaim for these plans, the university’s Careers Service has decided to implement fur- ther accreditation, this time for those students most adept at completely making things up.
The new plans follow a review of higher education in light of the recent cuts, and aim to make degrees more rel- evant to the working world. In addition to companies such as PricewaterhouseCoopers providing thorough and well- researched classes in business skills, entire modules could soon be based on a student’s ability to entirely invent facts, arguments, and hypotheses.
In proposals leaked to The Cheese Grater, potential lectures that could be intro- duced to the timetable include ‘Fabricating Scientific Papers’ by Dr A. Wakefield, ‘Appear- ing Competent in Essays’ by Prof N. E. Student and ‘Greasy Pole Climbing’ by Mr Ian Pow- ell of PricewaterhouseCoopers.
However, the proposal has caught the attention of var- ious critics. Dr Phil O’Sopher from the Faculty of Arts and Humanities said, ‘If all these students take courses in making everything up, then this com- pletely undermines and deval- ues degrees such as English and Philosophy. Soon, any student will be able to write an essay on the importance of Shake- speare in modern society.’
Vice-Provost Michael Worton defended the new development. ‘The ability to improvise and adapt to gap- ing holes in your knowledge is exactly what some of the big- gest graduate employers tell me they’re looking for,’ he said. ‘That fine and generous com- pany, PricewaterhouseCoopers, while possessing an incredible level of technical expertise, also value graduates who aren’t too fussed about memorising the tax code. Indeed I’m quite certain the global economy would have collapsed had it not been for the wonderful team down at PwC, In fact, they’re almost making up for the chancers down at Deloitte, KPMG and E&Y.’ The Vice- Provost went on to argue that formal education in fabrication of facts helps develop creativ- ity, flexibility and charisma.
The new modules could be implemented as soon as Autumn 2011. An unnamed student source said, ‘Pricewa- terhouseCoopers is a fantas- tic place to work. The com- pany offers a competitive pay package and employee ben- efits including flexible working hours, and along with regular feedback provides sponsor- ship for professional qualifi- cations. PwC accepts gradu- ates from all disciplines, so those who visit http://www. pwc.com/uk/en/careers will not come away disappointed!’