This month, Olivia Rodrigo’s smash hit ‘Drivers License’ has taken the internet by storm, becoming the first song to achieve 200 million Spotify streams in only 17 days. The teenager has been widely praised for her emotional, heart-wrenching lyrics – not to mention her impressive vocal range.
Yet not everyone has been so positive about Rodrigo’s rise to stardom. David River, Rodrigo’s former driving instructor, has expressed his concern about her poor driving ability and limited interest in road safety.
“She wasn’t a great driver, I’ve got to be honest”, said River, in an exclusive interview with The Cheese Grater.
“I know she got 200 million streams, but it felt like that was the amount of attempts she took to pass the bloody test.”
In fact, Rodrigo took 7 attempts to pass, but even her final test was a rocky ride for the examiner, who reportedly threw up on the sidewalk after the assessment.
“She was very enthusiastic, that’s for sure”, commented River. “She was always harmonising with me, and she kept asking me to get out of the car and film her.”
River was surprised that Rodrigo had been able to sing and drive simultaneously in the song’s accompanying music video.
“She struggled with using the indicator and steering at the same time, so it’s clear that her multi-tasking abilities have come a long way since I taught her”, he explained.
But despite his reservations about the video, River was relieved when he listened to the song and realised that a lot of Rodrigo’s past behaviour now made sense.
“She always wanted to drive along this one street, which I never understood. She would start crying as soon as we got there, which impaired her visibility quite significantly. One time, she said she could see a man’s face on the side of a white van. That was really creepy, actually.”
While River wishes Rodrigo all the best in her singing endeavours, he urges her to take road safety more seriously in the future.
“I’ve heard she might get a Lamborghini with the money she’s made from this song”, he noted. “Of course I’m happy for her, but I don’t think she should be in charge of that kind of engine. I’m genuinely worried about the residents of our neighbourhood. Should I file a report?”
With thanks to D. River for his comments.
