The Time Machine

Humour / 4 November 2021

Teenager X

Anonymous

Teenager X, as written for an American high-school themed TV show by a fully grown adult (sample script)

“HEY! You wanna go to a fucking party???”

“I’m not very keen on parties. Besides, I have homework due tomorrow”, replies the one-dimensional protagonist who just moved schools.

“Homework?”, Teenager X responds perplexedly. “I haven’t done any homework in 8 fucking months. I fucking hate school, you bitch”.

“Alrigh-

“And you know what? Fuck this establishment in general”

“Oh boy, here we go”, the supporting character with a far more intriguing past says under their breath.

“I’m sick of this shit. Homework this, homework that. What about teaching us real-life stuff, huh? Like doing taxes? What about the FUCKING taxes?!? School is a fucking waste of time. Fuck the ed-u-ca-tion system. Fuck this school.”, Teenager X shouts into the passive student crowd that has incidentally gathered in the hall proudly.

“They kinda have a point, I guess”, the supporting character with a far more intriguing past whispers to the one-dimensional protagonist who just moved schools.

“Now if you’ll e-x-c-u-s-e me: I’m gonna vape in the fucking school bathroom”, Teenager X announces. The passive student crowd that has incidentally gathered in the hall cheers.

“Ugh, I’m so over this”, the supporting character with a far more intriguing past scoffs before turning around to walk to their Algebra class.

The one-dimensional protagonist who just moved schools quickly turns to follow the supporting character with a far more intriguing past to the next lesson.

Pausing to look over their shoulder warmly, the one-dimensional protagonist who just moved schools takes a moment to catch a final glimpse of the one and only Teenager X.