At a press conference last night, Bethesda executive producer Todd Howard confirmed widespread rumours by revealing that the long-awaited Fallout 5 will indeed be set entirely within the confines of UCL’s Stratford campus, UCL East.
According to the team, this decision was made after a member was stuck in Olympic Park for two days due to tube strikes.
The employee stated: “It was horrible. There were people blocking the exits to the park. I could barely move. They shambled along cracked concrete under what seemed like permanently-overcast skies. A lack of food and water caused me to have to drink from a nearby canal. I have never felt more sick. When I tried to ask someone for directions, they attempted to slash me to ribbons with their nails. It was like I had stepped into the game itself.”
Howard was shown photos of Stratford’s many key landmarks, such as the Westfield Shopping Centre and that big fuckoff slide, and agreed that the setting was perfect for the post-apocalyptic role-playing series’ next venture.
“It just works,” he said. “I could feel the boredom and hatred through the photographs the team sent me.”
Howard refused to journey to Stratford himself due to his fear of intense radiation. He also noted: “Are you kidding me? It’s miles away.”
Fallout 5 is notable, as it is the first game to take place outside of what is left of the United States. Previous entries in the series allowed players to explore key American cities, such as Boston, Washington D.C. and Las Vegas.
When asked the reason for such a big change, Howard responded: “Fucking look at it. Look at it. It’s basically a wasteland already. The apocalypse would at least bring in some action. Plus, we can save money on worldbuilding.”
According to Bethesda, the move to the UK will not be jarring for players. One spokesperson for the company said: “Stratford bears such a striking resemblance to the Capital Wasteland of Fallout 3 that we were worried people would think we’d just ripped off the whole map”.
UCL is set to make a significant appearance in the game’s story. Leaked plot details show that the university’s One Pool Street accommodation will be represented as a settlement that players can visit in-game.
The building will be entirely occupied by ghouls, Fallout’s depiction of irradiated humans with rotting, mottled skin due to exposure to atomic waste, who rely on strong drugs to maintain their sanity and prevent them from turning ‘feral’.
Bethesda has confirmed no changes will need to be made to One Poole Street’s design or population in order to faithfully implement it into the game world.
It was also announced that a new Vault will be placed beneath Stratford tube station.
Fans of the series will know that each Vault has a specific experiment associated with it, and rumours currently believe the new Vault 26 will be filled with members from each political society at UCL.
The player will have the option of encouraging the vault-dwellers to ‘disagree well’, which reportedly brings about the game’s ‘good ending’. It is generally thought that this is part of the contract Michael Spence has with Bethesda, who originally wanted him represented in the game as a member of the Enclave.
Rumoured side-quests will include defending the UCL East Shuttle Bus from raiders, taking down a cult that worships the head of Jeremy Beartham, and solving the mystery of why the campus is so far from Central London.
Concerns have been raised that players native to Stratford would feel ‘bored’ due to the map’s lack of change, being a nearly 1:1 re-creation of UCL East as it is today. Howard responded: “They’re basically playing Fallout 5 every day as is. The fact that we’re making Stratford near-livable will probably be a nice bit of escapism for them.”
Fans will be disappointed to learn that the Brotherhood of Steel will not appear in the game. Official sources say that there is “nothing in Stratford worth scavenging”, so the group has no purpose.
As part of a promotional tie-in with Fallout 5, a live nuclear warhead will soon be displayed in the centre of UCL East. It will be guarded by a concrete wall, as The Cheese Grater understands that students believe plunging the city into a nuclear winter is preferable to living in Stratford.
Planned DLCs include Fallout: Smethwick and Fallout: Romney Marsh.