Did coronavirus cancel your society’s Emergency General Meeting? Us too, and good luck hosting an EGM with 3 freshers on Zoom. Everyone knows that you don’t bother attending unless there’s free food.
Fortunately, that hasn’t stopped your favourite societies from choosing their committee members for this most ex- citing of years. Here are some ingenious alternatives to the conventional EGM that UCL societies have tried out:
Dance Society members have sub- mitted TikToks instead of manifestos.
In Economics and Finance Society, elections were held at 5am in Camden McDonalds, and all available roles went to the freshers that the Vice-President thought were the least ‘gay’.
Musical Theatre Society decided take a chance on all their members through an online ABBA medley. Voulez-vouz to know who won? I sure do, I do, I do, I do. Oh wait – success- ful candidates were those who wrote the most UCLove posts about them- selves. The bar was high for that one.
This house believes that Debating Society are still rebattling it or what- ever it is they do.
After the success of Drama Society’s A Clockwork Orange was pinned on the lead actor’s damn fine jawline (mm mm mmmm), the jaws of all commit- tee candidates were then judged on an- gle, symmetry, and chiselledness. Their new, peng welfare officer may not be able to relate to the struggles of the less attractive society members but they can act and pretend they do.
Artificial Intelligence Society per- formed the Turing test on all their commit- tee member wannabes. Alas, all standing candidates failed.
Rugby Society sent Olly the leg- end out in his Range Rover to all the boys’ abodes to summon them to The Red Lion on the night BoJo closed the pubs. Whoever downed the most Stel- las through their arsehole got the most lad points and thus first dibs on presi- dent. Some students have stereotyped all the members as ‘posh school’ boys, which is actually so not alright because, to be fair mate, the UCL Rugby Society definitely won’t be rising from the ashes like the phoenix from Hogwarts.
Members of Hungarian Society just voted online because, unlike back home, their democracy is more than a hollow facade.