In a shocking twist on the annual commitment for sleep pods on campus, Students’ Union President candidate Iz Cole has pledged to introduce cryogenic sleep pods in the Student Centre basement.
The pods, which will rapidly freeze students to a nippy -130°C, will allow students to take a short interruption of study until the job market improves.
In conversation with Cole, they stated:
“Many students are worried about the current job market. Many graduates are taking a break after university to find work. So why not give students the opportunity to wait until things get better? I think of it as the same as a brief ski holiday!”
Cole plans to fund the scheme by giving students a generous 5% discount on their annual tuition in order to keep them in stasis. They will be promptly reenrolled once defrosted.
They also asserted that, as many students sleep in and miss lectures anyway, there will not be a large impact upon attendance.
When approached for comment about the radical pledge, the University has told us:
"It will be fantastic for our current students who have experienced UCL200 to see what we have in store for UCL300.”
When asked about the safety of the freezing process, Cole stated (off the record); “I mean when you defrost chicken it still tastes good so I’m sure it’ll be fine, right?”