Dear Michael,
I am not sure whether you, the Prov- ost, will be Michael Spence or Michael Arthur by the time you read this, so I have been appropriately ambiguous in my greeting. I am writing to you pri- marily out of confusion, but also out of disgust, sadness, and sympathy for you that you have not yet recognised my greatness. According to your Instagram page, #UCLDisruptYourThinking is “a series of advice and thought-provoking recommendations to read, watch and listen to from the UCL community”. I am shocked I have not yet been ap- proached to contribute to this.
Who, pray tell, is better at giving such recommendations than yours tru- ly? If you think it’s students like this kid here, you’re clearly mistaken. For start- ers, she’s managed to get her head stuck in a loudspeaker*, so nobody deserves advice from her. She reminds me of you getting stuck in an echo-chamber of sycophants telling you that listening to your academics is a bad idea. “Disrupt your thinking” doesn’t mean “don’t think at all”, Michael.
I would be a great candidate because a) I’m really smart, b) I am heavily in- volved in Union activities, and c) I se- cretly run UCLove, so know what the people care about. Anyway, here are my recommendations for when you choose me as your next poster boy:
Read: my last article in a student newspaper. I mostly regurgitated the opinions of a Times columnist and passed them off as my own original ones, but that’s what the cool kids do.
Watch: The Crown. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it (it’s pretty indie), but this latest season had someone called Margaret Thatcher, and your leadership styles are indistinguishable. Listen: to my Soundcloud.
King regards,
Billy Fresher, big shot journalist