The Time Machine

Humour / 9 April 2020

Cheese Grater Perspectives: “I Joined An All-Female Committee And We All Got Invisalign!”

Anonymous

Jane Matthews was once just a woman, like many of us (except men). Then, in her third year at university, she won a place on the committee of an arts magazine. Now, she has Invisalign. The Cheese Grater’s Steven Andrews spoke to Jane to learn more about her experience.

Steven: Hi Jane. How are you to- day?

Jane: I’m good, thankth Thteven.

Tell us a bit about yourself and your role on this committee.

Well, I’m the media offither for The Thoup Dish Magathine. It’s a thatiri- cal magazine here at UThL. I wath a part of the magathine for a couple of yearth and then dethided, why not run for a committee pothition? And now I have Invithalign.

That’s our understanding. And tell us, how did you wind up with Invisalign?

Yeah, tho a couple of weekth into term, one of the girlth on the commit- tee came into a meeting with Invitha- lign. And I thought hey, maybe I should get that too. And then I got Invithalign, and one thing led to another, and now all the women have Invithalign.

Wow. So, just for our readers, ex- plain what Invisalign is exactly?

It’th bathically invithible bratheth for your teeth. It’th a popular option among people who get brathes ath adulths, becauthe it’th leth obviouth than regular metal oneth. People thay mine are hardly notithable!

Cool! And how come, do you think, everyone else ended up get- ting it too?

I mean, you thpend a lot of time together ath a committee. It’th really important to be able to work well ath a team, and tho it’th jutht logical to me that if one perthon getth Invitha- lign that otherth will want it too. Pluth it’th like, when one perthon pointth out thomething that’th a bit wrong with their fathe you thtart thinking hey, maybe my fathe ith fucked too. Tho it jutht thort of grew quite organically ath a team effort.

That’s really nice to hear. And would you say everyone’s happy with their decision?

Yeah, I think tho. I mean, counting per head, I would thay we have thpent maybe thixty thouthand poundth on Invithalign now, ath a committee. And that’th obviouthly quite a big commit- ment, tho it’th nithe to know we’re all in the thame boat.

Great, great. And – I hate to be that guy! – but we often hear stereo- types about all women working to- gether and not getting on that well. Has your experience been a positive one, or have you run into problems? You know, not listening to each oth- er, infighting, getting into disagree- ments over little things and so on?

To be honetht, I’d thay it’th pretty much like a normal committee, exthept we all have Invithalign.

What a lovely sentiment. Well, Jane, I think that’s all our questions – do you have any final thoughts to leave our readers on?

Yeah, I gueth I would jutht thay that if you’re thinking of going for a com- mittee pothition thith year, jutht go for it! And even if it’th all women, that’th nothing to worry about. Thithterth are doing it for themthelves!

Haha, thanks Jane. Lovely to speak to you today.

No worrieth. Thankth!