The Time Machine

Humour / 1 November 2015

Uncle Benn’s Advice Time

Sir Anthony has passed away, but his column makes a festive return

Anonymous
Hilary Benn - The face of a kinder politics

Hilary Benn - The face of a kinder politics

For over 50 years cuddly socialist and neutered Labour firebrand Tony Benn redistributed pearls of wisdom and avun- cular advice to our needy readers. This year, his advice column returns by way of a one-off festive treat – with son Hilary answering your questions.

“Aaaaaargh! I had a great friendship group in my halls, and didn’t think twice when they suggested we live together in second year – but it turns out we have little in common, and they’re really start- ing to irritate me. They always wake me up coming home from Loop bar, and I’ve taken to playing white noise to drown out my housemates’ noisy sexual activities. I thought I got on so well with the whole group, but it turns out we’re like chalk and cheese. I don’t think I’ve changed and my friends from home all say I’m the same person, so I don’t understand why we can’t see eye to eye anymore.

I feel like I’m taking my work much more seriously now I’m in second year, but my housemates all behave as if fresh- ers week had never ended. I don’t want to tear the group apart, but I’m afraid of failing my modules if I can’t get any sleep.

I’m tied into a 12 month contract and I can’t stand much more of it. What’s a girl to do?

Helena Norton

(2nd year Arts & Sciences)

...........................................................

Dear Helena,

Bomb the fuck out of them.

Yours,

The Rt. Hon. Hilary Benn MP