“So how are you finding life at UCL?"
“Its pretty good actually. Foods pretty abundant. But this weekend I'm making a migration up to Max Rayne, I heard that's where a lil’ cockroach like myself can live the dream’”.
“And how do you expect that journey to go?”
“Well everyone says that my best features are my legs, so it should only take me a couple of days, reckon!”
“Whats your favourite thing about UCL?"
“There’ actually really good piping around here, you see. You can scurry along to yer heart’s content. Very few cats either which is good, the mangy bastards.”
“Are cats a big issue for you?”
“Yeah, have you seen ‘em? Theyr'e the smuggest shits and they play around with you and stuff you in their mouths whilst you ain't lookin, right by the tail. [am more of a dog person.
"What was your first experience with the university?”
“Well I was minding my own business chasing this lady pigeon round. Then this gust of wind whaps me right out of Mornington Crescent, into this place.”
“Are you enjoying your new residence here?”
“Oh boy, am I loving it here. Have you seen the sandwich crusts people leave in Gordon Square? Marks & Spencers crusts you can find in there! ™