“Some tea leaf ’s nicked my dog and bone” – “A thief has stolen my mobile phone.” This may well happen, and you’ve got more chance of getting it back if you ask the locals rather than the police. During the war, dogs were used as telephone operators to free up men to fight at the front.
“If this is Pete Tong, you’re brown bread!” – “If this is wrong, you’re dead.” Throw this one in to gently remind the nice person serving you that they better get it right; nobody wants Pepsi when they ordered a Coke. Pete Tong still plays in Ibiza despite being clearly too old, making him synonymous with everything that is wrong, and anyone eating brown bread in the East End tends to be either a mug or a hobo.
“Shut your north and south, you berk, you’re elephant’s. You’ve got Richard all down your new chinos.” – “Shut your mouth, you cunt, you’re drunk. You’ve got shit all down your new chinos.” This one’s simple, perfect for summing up the end of another night out so- cialising. North and south? Mouth. Berkeley Hunt was widely agreed to be the biggest cunt in London, an Elephant’s trunk can down a pint in 3 seconds, and Richard III was re- nowned for being unable to control his bowels, leading to the nickname ‘Richard the Turd’.
Humour / 1 November 2012
Stratford Slang
UCL’s moving — here’s an idiot’s guide to East End lingo
