The problem with free shit is that although it is free, which is good, it is also shit, which is shit. If you're not careful you'll end up with useless tat like poorly weighted mini frisbees and mouse mats. Who needs a mouse mat? By employing strategy you can get more than your fair share of actually useful things, like food.
The key is to seem susceptible to prey- ing societies. Christian Society giving out free biscuits? Sidle up to their stand and sob quietly: "My life is so directionless since the accident... perhaps the healing power of Christ could save me?” At this point wink suggestively and, as they try and help you, grab the custard crémes.
Dominos giving out free pizza? Stride over and announce: “My life is so direc- tionless since the accident... perhaps the healing power of pizza could save me?” Wink suggestively and cram a slice in your mouth.
Hare Krishnas giving out free curry? Waddle towards them, full of biscuits and pizza, and shout: “My, what lovely curry! Perhaps I'll have a little and donate some money later” Wink suggestively, slurp a bowlful and then please give them £2 as they really do deserve it. They gave my life direction after the accident. And a free mouse mat.