It reads like a bad horror story: a pregnant woman driven to stealing a three-course meal at The Ivy... by the very foetus growing inside her! Val Doyle ex- perienced intense cravings for “a slap-up meal at one of London’s top restaurants” which, according to Dr Hannah Young, were the re- sult of “pre-natal manipulation”.
This growing field of re- search examines the increasingly common phenomenon of foe- tuses imposing their will on their mothers. This is done by extend- ing consciousness up through the mother’s spinal cord, eventually taking control of the mind. In rare cases, suicidal unborn babies have even forced their mothers- to-be to take their own lives in an act of involuntary abortion. Such extreme cases seem to be most common among underage, unat- tached pregnant girls with bearing fathers.
Cambridge-based obstetri- cian Dr Henry Fellowes thinks he has an explanation: “Some babies just don’t want to be born. One unfortunate Saudi woman preg- nant with such a nihilistic pre- nate was stoned to death, after her foetus compelled her to slap her husband across the face and tell him to ‘press his own damn trousers’. Her suicidal actions can only be explained by foetal mind control.”
Such occurrences have ig- nited furious debate around the contentious question of whether foetuses have the right not to be born? With recent developments, the maternal pro-choice lobby has come under fire from pro-life and foetus right-to-die (D-termi- nation) factions for exactly op- posite reasons. Martin Neames, a pro-choice spokesman, said “This is ridiculous — foetuses aren’t even alive! How can they choose to die?”
Top human rights law- yer Brian Carling QC has challenged this argument, maintaining that foetuses are constantly trying to com- municate with the outside world. Asked how, Carling explained: “My wife Jill was 16 weeks pregnant when she felt the first kicks. In her ex- citement, she called me over to have a listen, and remem- bering my Morse code from my time in the sea scouts, I just knew that the baby was trying to tell me something. I grabbed a pencil and pa- per and hastily recorded the babe’s communiqué. ‘KKI- LI'. Meaning ‘kill I’, or as I under- stood it, ‘kill me’. Obviously it's unreasonable to expect a child of less than 0 to have a perfect grasp of spelling and grammar but the intent was clear. This was one kid who didn’t want to be born. I told my wife, and we went ahead with the termination the very next day. Which was ideal, because I need- ed to have a stern word with my vasectomist
Since discovering mode of communication this with the womb-bound, Mr Carling has been coordinating pre-natal activities, giving foetuses a voice with his charity ‘Unborn Iden- which aims to establish new articles in the Universal Declara- tion of Human Rights that will acknowledge the rights of foe- tuses, including their right not to be born. “I set it up with my own money,” he revealed, “but we have recently received substantial financial backing from the Chi- nese government”.