Well-qualified school leav- ers are finding it harder than ever to find employment, with a new poll showing that top city firms are rejecting 65% of primary school graduates prior to the interview stage. Intelli- gent students are being forced to spend ever longer in the education system, often only to signal to employers their work potential and determination.
Casey, 6, sent out over fifty applications following re- ception class last year and did not receive a single interview. He now thinks he might have to achieve Key Stage Three before he’ll be able to land his dream job at Slaughter and May, a top-shelf legal outfit.
‘I shouldn’t have to put my ambition on ice while the education system catches up with me,’ Casey spits. ‘Just because I won’t eat the crusts on my bread, that doesn’t mean I’m somehow inca- pable of doing the job. I’m ready; these dicklicks just won’t give me the chance!’
Christopher Grip, head of HR at PricewaterhouseC- oopers, sees things quite dif- ferently, however. ‘We can’t even look at candidates who haven’t got a level 4 at Key Stage Two,’ he said, adding, ‘our resources won’t allow it.’
‘There simply has to be a cut off,’ argues David Childs, managing partner at Clifford Chance. ‘Once upon a time, you knew where you were with the OCR Playtime Certificate: these guys were no mugs. I’m talking quality sandcastle builders. Nowadays, they’re giving them away!’
However, increasing numbers of people are sug- gesting that in these chastened economic climes, we can little afford the luxury of putting the next generation through a system that so obviously fails to prepare young people for work, arguing for an increase in vocational and apprenticeship style roles for the under-10s.
‘Potato prints are great and everything, but I want to work for NASA. Try telling that to Michael Gove,’ mused Walter, 7, before proceeding to tip sand into Polly Riesling’s lunchbox.