Dear Malcolm,
My radiator won’t turn on. What advice could you offer me to tackle this in the chilly winter months?
Seamus O’Rellard, Ramsay Hall
Malcolm Says: Seamus, thanks for getting in touch. I’d recom- mend declogging the radiator with a bleeding key, available in all good hardware shops. If that doesn’t work and the night’s still cold, then a hat, scarf or teddy bear purchased from the UCL Shop should keep you snug as a bug!
Dear Malcolm,
My sink is giving me grief like nobody’s business. I’ve tried pouring boiling water and a bit of bleach down the plughole but it just won’t do the trick. Any handy hints to sort out my blockage?
Dave Whelan, Connaught Hall
Malcolm Says: Sinks can be tricky to fix David, if the clas- sic combo of bleach and water won’t shift that mother then I’d suggest my patented ‘Mal- colm’s Mix’: half a cup of bi- carbonate of soda, followed by a pint of malt vinegar. Whack that in there and leave it for an hour, it should go down hook, line and sinker!
Dear Malcolm,
There has been a nasty block- age in my toilet for some time, and the facilities service still has not sorted it out. What’s the best way to handle this problem?
Frank Pinter, Ramsay Hall
Malcolm Says: First things first Frank, try not to keep flushing the handle to make it all go away. You’ll probably break that too! You’re going to have to get down and dirty with this issue, so start by baling out the excess filth and water, then whack in some bleach and furi- ously wiggle a plunger up and down until you feel a change in pressure. Longer term, a move towards a fibre-based diet can do wonders for your U-bend!
Next week: Michael Wor- ton advises students on em- barrassing medical problems.