Welcome to all of you enthusiastic freshers and commiserations to the depressed second and third years. It’s time for freshers’ flu, STI’s, and fake friendships.
Speaking of the flu and STI’s, apparently UCL Men’s Rugby held a social last year alongside the netball team (invite only of course) centered around speed dating. Now let your favourite bitch tell you a story.
Imagine a sweaty room fuelled by testosterone, tight t-shirts, and guinness. Then imagine the cliché privately educated girl who screams if daddy doesn’t send money for baccy. Now imagine those two deviants waiting in lines to be paired up to create little deviant babies. Hell on fucking earth.
Why can’t you people use tinder (or grindr) like the rest of us to find one time sex toys?
Choo choooo, it’s time for a society never mentioned before. Indian Soc, apparently they took advice from EFS this year whilst conducting committee member interviews. What is it with societies asking predominantly first year female students ‘how would you flirt with X committee member?’ You desperate bitches… Just hit up Rugby or Netball and ask for one of their invites to the secret conveyor belt orgies they seem to be having. Soc Bitch intends to be going to the next one anyway 😉
The CG is a Satirical Magazine. lol.
This article appeared in CG Issue 83.
What is it with all you horny, deviant sex pests?
