While I would love nothing more than to sit in the audience of the colosseum and watch these natural gladiators dramatically fight to their deaths, I must question the intent behind it all.
In our modern-day world, the chance of a gorilla encounter — especially if you’re outside a Pret in London with your flat white — is pretty much zero.
So why is it that men are so willing to performatively sacrifice themselves to a gorilla, to preserve the idea of their physical superiority?
You can’t fix the economy, you sure as hell can’t fix your mental health — but maybe, just maybe, you can fix your pride by stabbing a gorilla with a road sign.
Is brute strength really the only thing they have left?
Perhaps they have finally come to accept themselves as equal to women, so biology is the final, desperate line of defence.
Or perhaps, in this world filled with war across the globe, the new sense of security doesn’t come with a rich finance bro — but with a blue-collar zookeeper who can wrestle a gorilla (and maybe shield you from a nuclear bomb while he’s at it).
Clearly, emotional intelligence, a personality, and chivalry are all expendable, for the ability to beat an ape.
Incel or not, the consensus indicates a proud return to medieval standards of masculinity. That is, if juggling a career on the capitalist ladder, emotional repression, and three girlfriends on the same cracked iPhone is the modern-day equivalent of fighting a dragon.
After all, it takes a special kind of multitasking to trap a gorilla in a mosh pit powered by untreated male BO and the stench of Dior Sauvage.
But on a more serious note, behind the memes and monkey-brained valour: Are internal qualities no longer important?
Is misogyny, a love for violence, and an untreated porn addiction so common that they must compensate with an effort of boxing a silverback while we watch, deeply unimpressed, from the fire exit?
As a woman, though a fan of the performative arts, I would not spend more than £20 on watching this munera. (Although if they throw in a Harambe tribute with Coldplay in the background during the interval, I may stretch it to £25)
However, there are some battles for which there is truly no ticket price:
1. 100 men vs. the concept of empathy
2. 100 men vs. human decency 3. 100 men vs. loyalty
4. 100 men vs. therapy
5. 100 men vs. accountability
(Spoiler: the gorilla still wins)
This article appeared in CG92
