As Pie Media is the oldest and largest student journalism society in the Empire, the editors at the ‘Cheese Grater’ have rightly asked us to write them a short pre-obituary marking twenty years of their publication’s ragged existence.
A short history lesson for the less-cultured readers of ‘The Cheese grator’: did you know that the low-quality rag that you are currently reading would not exist had it not been for Pie? Back in 2004, some self-righteous asshole named René Lavanchy decided that we were too much of a pro-establishment suck-up to UCL and the Union. No idea where he got that idea from, apart from the fact that we are literally named after the former Provost Sir David Pye.
Anyway, that delusional traitor René went on to start a splinter publication named after a common household item, printing his insane ramblings with ol’ trusty UCL printers. Not much has changed since then. Unfortunately, what should have been a short-lived embarrassment turned out to rob us of multiple awards over the next two decades.
The point is, ‘Cheesegrater’ readers shouldn’t celebrate too early. Word on the street is that you guys are short on cash, and it probably doesn’t help that your ‘sketch comedy’ group ‘UCL Graters’ (real creative name, by the way) keeps haemorrhaging money at every Mully’s show. This is exactly what happens when you let the Left manage public finances.
Let us know when you inevitably stop publishing. We will print literally anything – such as an entire issue dedicated to the colour red (that no one has read) – anything but your typical wokey criticism of our glorious President
This article appeared in CG88
