Students’ Union UCL was ‘proud to reveal’ that all political societies have now been conveniently merged into one big society dubbed ‘The Party’.
Gizel Adin
The move comes after the president of UCL Labour was accused of a ‘lack of clear leadership’ following a sluggish start to the new year.
To battle against this decreasing interest, the Labour Society’s president expertly negotiated a party merger with the president of the Liberal Democrat Society, who just so happens to be the same person.
The change has largely been free of controversy. A STEM student who was explained the meaning of left-right politics five minutes ago commented, ‘To be fair, there’s not much difference between them.’
In the face of this new coalition, Tory Soc had been sweating under their Polo jumpers and eyeing The Party nervously. They were not without their reasons, following their disastrous suspension over a boozy debate on abolishing child labour laws, it became apparent that The Party would simply be more efficient at running the society.
‘A healthy democracy requires unity and stability,’ commented one representative. ‘Why have many little parties working towards conflicting goals, when you can have one party with no goal at all?’
At this time The Cheese Grater can only express its uncompromising support towards The Party and its glorious leader. It is clear that UCL’s political societies will simply be more productive under one president.
We also take this moment to kindly request the release of our journalists from the backrooms of IOE. We believe they have completed their re-education, and have nothing but love for The Party.
This article appeared in the Digestive 3
