The Mailsack: Issue 88, Autumn 2024

Please write to us

Dear Readers,

The Cheese Grater had a brief experiment with a letters column called the Mailsack around ten years ago which didn’t last very long, but we thought we’d try again.

We are now accepting letters addressed to the editors from all UCL students and staff, current and former, regardless of whether you have a membership. These are short opinion pieces of up to 300 words, on any given issue (vaguely) related to student life at UCL, London, and beyond. To the great delight of our haters, we also take feedback, both good and bad, on our previous issues and articles.

Please direct emails to the editors at editor@cheesegratermagazine.org and include a contact address with all correspondence.

The Editors


Single Tory seeking love

Dear Editors,

I come to you with an unfortunate set of circumstances. I have been at UCL for two long years now, but I have yet to be mentioned or identified on UCLove. Whilst the platform is filled with tofu-reading guardian-eating hypersexual feminine women-boys, I really want someone to love me, you see. As per Mother Dearest, I am a rather leng individual but no one has put out a message seeking my company. Should I apply to be a bartender at the IOE? Or a Barista at the Print Room? They seem to get all the attention. Alternatively, I could become an incel, they seemed to have gained a lot of traction on the page in the last annum. I quite like the latter option due to my time in the UCL Conservative Society. My chums there were great fun! They gave me the loving attention I deserved, unlike the WOKEY WOMEN on UCLove. EQUAL PAY, TAKE IT AWAY I SAY!

Anyhow, I would love it if you wrote a column for the folks like me out there; those of us who just want a UCLover. Your publication brags about giving a voice to the people, well I am a member of the silent majority! Polite gentlemen always finish last and we deserve better!

Rufus Barty Diddlebum VII,
Garden Halls