Dear Diary,
Today was yet another disappointment. The consultant did not notice me yet again, not giving me any additional jobs to do. How else am I going to complete my portfolio with 8 weeks to spare.
After a morning ward round, with a disappointing lack of obscure questions that would make a consultant quake in their boots. I was left to ponder why the anti-med consultant conspiracy were being merely kind to me instead of finding 50 new ways to demonstrate that I am truly the smartest. I mean, why was I not asked to make the registrars life hell with a needless case presentation?
I was beside myself. It only got worse when after the ward round, I was allowed to sit down and just assist with jobs. No mindless running. No marathon up and down the stairs. No crash calls to stop seizures or a heart attack. All meaning and semblance of a good day was lost in that moment. Not a blood to take, not a patient to talk to and flex all of my knowledge on. It was dire. Even the English Literature students were doing more than me. Is it too late to swap courses?
But of course, the day did start to pick up. After a hasty couple of lectures, I barely had enough time to have lunch. It was pure bliss, ignorant and delightful bliss. But, that magic was lost almost instantly. Returning from lunch, I was allowed to just sit down and review notes. I swear, they must hate us like this.
You would think this horror had to end? But, oh no. I was allowed to leave early. I mean that was just the tipping point for me there. I felt like quitting.
Still, tomorrow is back to usual. Maybe I can have two panic attacks and a near miss on deadlines to really feel alive.
Depressingly,
Meddy Student
Altay Shaw