Dear Editors In Chief,
I have heard, through many a confession to my embalmed body, that you students seemed to be very stressed about people stealing food from communal fridges. Personally, I’d recommend adapting my Panopticon™️ design, a perfectly utilitarian solution to your troubles. Simply place the fridge in question in an area where everyone can view it at any time; the street outside the front of your flat should do nicely. Then, install one way glass on all the windows so it is impossible to tell if you are being observed stealing from the fridge. The threat of being watched without knowledge should soon foster an environment where the culprit is too scared to steal. Bonus: you can now go fully nude in front of your windows.
In utilitarian love,
Jeremy Bentham