Government lose key data... again
In another episode of data loss, the government has admitted to losing details regarding the integrity, credibility, and dignity of several Cabinet Ministers. In the latest incident private delivery firm Parcel Force sent a hard drive containing the information to a kebab shop in Ilford rather than to government offices in Guildford. Boris Johnson has proudly stated that he is ‘impervious to these kinds of mix-ups,’ as ‘details such as these are not and never will be associated with me’. (More on page 14).
PM’s Announcement
Gordon Brown left the depths of 10 Downing Street this morning to announce to the world that a day had just gone by where everything has been “...just about OK, actually”. In one unbelievable day, the world has seen no collapsing banks, no loss of investments, no nationalisation, no ecstatic communists, no Z-list celebrity deaths, no car pile-ups on the M25, no mysteriously disappearing 3 year olds, and no terrorist activity. “Well, I mean about 500 people died in a car bombing incident in Baghdad this morning, but no-one actually really cares about that any more.” (More on page 13... or 14).