THE WALL-LESS office under the bridge on Chalk Farm Road houses the Camden Lock Beggars Union (CLBU). Two months ago, the CLBU announced that their members had signed up to a scheme that will allow them the use of Chip and Pin machines. They have signed up in droves (with a pen kindly donated by UNICEF). Negotiations with Transport for London are also in “advanced stages” regarding the delivery of a PFI scheme to allow donations to beggars by Oyster pre-pay.
Daily Mail
Unfortunately, delivery of these changes has not been without teething trouble, leading to a hostile reaction from the national press with the Daily Mail even asking whether the scheme was “fit for purpose.” The public has not been hasty to endorse the idea; most are afraid of the smell, others feel their PIN is not safe around the homeless.
In pursuit of answers to this question, I went on a fact finding mission through the slalom run of beggars and drug dealers that orbit Camden Lock. One rather shabby looking (I say shabby, he was actually naked) man approached me, and asked me if I could ‘spare a bit of change’. Apparently, he was saving up to move in with his girlfriend under Waterloo Bridge.
Thug adaptor
I was shocked but reluctant to give him money so I told the cunt I wasn’t carrying any cash. It was then that he produced a chip and pin machine. The chip and pin had ‘Morrisons’ emblazoned on the side. He told me it was his girlfriend’s name. I told him I couldn’t use the machine; it wasn’t plugged in. “Have you got any spare change for an adaptor mate?” I promptly told him to fuck off.