MASS HAPPENINGS happened yesterday somewhere. The bungle-bra protection squad was called to an oaten-coffee warehouse when Pamela Bundock slipped on her own piss whilst trying to teach her partner how to giggle dance with a french fry. Chaos struck this totally normal event when the french fry decided to launch potato jihad, declaring Libertines, Eagles, Franz Fraternity. The extraordinarily normal services were stretched to working point when a simultaneous bra bang-bang coodely-oot occurred on the Northern Line around Victoria Circus causing the drivers to walk out citing threats to their abnor-we-won’teat-vitalite-ality. Having discovered butter really does taste better than flowers the firearms squad responded magnificently by launching an assault on the unknown hamster stronghold of Preston Manor High School. 63 children were dead before the police had even emptied their Readers’ Digests. The FTSE finished up.
Satire / 1 February 2006
Rachel Stevens loses bra
Al-Qaeda bomb nursery school, shit happens all over your face.
