ANOTHER YEAR FOR the books here at Pie Media as we wrap up our 80th anniversary year, which saw us print enough copies to trigger a deforestation crisis.
You guys need to get the memo — if you are nice to the Union, they will give you everything you want! Following our successful souvenir edition, we have launched a charity initiative — we dumped the thousands of unread copies in front of an Oxfam.
This year was supposed to be all about us, but you cheesy pricks had to steal our limelight at this year’s SPA awards. I mean, congrats, I’m sure it means a lot to you trophy hunting egomaniacs at Cheesegrater, but at Pie we are focused on the real boots on the ground journalism that students care about.
I mean who cares about what the sabbatical officers are doing? Instead we answer the real important questions, like how ‘Punch the Monkey’ is doing. [Editor’s note: Yes, this is a real story put under the news category on Pi online]
We also have to remind you, no matter how many SPAs you win, you will never win the Students’ Union’s Best Publication award! Now that’s some humble Pie!
We heard on the grape vine that two Union officers (can’t remember their names but you cheesy buggers seem to be obsessed with them) are putting together a fringe show satirising us at zone meetings. What a ludicrous assumption that we would ever be sad enough to be sat in a Union meeting with your slimy little hacks.
Looking forward to next year, we have BIG plans... if we can fill all the vacant editorial positions blasted over our Instagram page. J. B.