The day of reckoning is nigh — mark the date 11 February 2026 — the day you cheesy melts will finally fall back into a state of obsolete existence.
Our UCL200 issue is almost here, I’m sure you saw our promo earlier this week went “viral” ... (is that what the kids call it?) It appears people only pay attention when the Union takes over our communications.
We really embraced our mean girl energy by showing students that we don’t give a flying fuck about the environment.
We didn’t even put the flyers up in the end, they’re going to gather dust in the media office along with all our other issues.
Well after all, we at Pie are more about impartiality than seeking attention. We wanted to congratulate you on your recent success at the Student Publication Association regional awards. It is quite the feat to achieve that success on your shoe string budget. It’s comforting to know how successful you are because of us.
We would’ve come along, but our editors were far too busy smoking that sweet UCL money and writing “Disagreeing Well” propaganda en masse to bother.
A parting message to you cheesy bastards — don’t get too comfortable, when our issue comes out, UCL will be reminded who the real serious journalists.
This is because they want to read it, obviously, not because it will be force fed down every students’ throat at all UCL200 events.
We cannot wait to write your obituary next month, stay tuned to see it published just in time for UCL201!
J. B.