The year was 2004, and in a fit of lager-fuelled passion and journalistic integrity-based rage, I booted up my Dell desktop and opened Internet Explorer.
And then I typed in “www.etsy.co.uk”. I cannot express to you how much I hated that damned Pi Media in my final year, and I had tried every method of stemming the ungodly flow of slop originating from the doors of the so-called “Pi Media office”.
I spiked their editors, I smashed their printing presses, but nothing worked. They kept pumping drivel out and suckling from SUUCL’s teat. The sour milk flowing through them poisoned the student journalism scene. For the sake of critical evaluation of UCL’s institutions, they had to go. And I was desperate. Etsy was new; it had the beautiful neon chaos that you just don’t get with these SEO websites these days.
I searched for hours trying to find the right listing, balding spells, curse of un-low wasting your jeans, killing their mothers; none of it was right.
I needed something specific, and then I found it — “birth your enemy’s greatest foe”. I did it. I paid the £4. And then that March something beautiful happened.
A new society affiliated with the SU. They published a 7 page tabloid. The cover, “Israel assassinates Gandalf”. Now this was the hard hitting critical journalism I wanted. The curse worked. The Etsy witch worked. And dear reader, I am so happy that it works until this day. Pi Media is battling its greatest enemy and they are losing that war. Keep up the good fight, team Cheese Grater. EXTERMINATE THEM!