The Time Machine

Humour / 1 March 2010

Sexed Up: Election 2010

As the election looms, UCL students get pounding with politics

The Humour Desk

New to voting? — It’s all Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll in the 21st century! We hear three accounts of young students and their political experiences.

‘I first knew I was Labour from an early age. I'd always been curious and then when I was about 16 I couldn’t live the lie anymore. First I came out to my friends, who were very supportive until I tried to shag them. I told my parents soon afterwards. My mum reacted fairly well, though I think she’d probably already known, but she’s still a lit- tle disappointed that she’ll never have any grand kids. My dad was completely shocked, in fact he still never really mentions it. Now I'm at uni and I wear a little red ribbon to re- mind everyone of the plight of workers less fortunate than ourselves.” Mike — European Social and Political Studies.

‘I first tried Tory on a night out at Koko, and it took effect immediately, I stopped buying anyone else drinks and my lips went blue. At school during the dark Blair years there had always been kids experimenting with weird economic and social policies (out of sight of the house mistress!) but I was al- ways too scared and just said ‘no’. I now do Tory about once a week, its nice and cheap but the hangover is terrible. I'm also scared of telling my northern friends.” Tara — Economics

“Straight after leaving school I started playing bass for the Lib Dems. We are cur- rently on a tour of minor British universities in order to drum up support for our unique brand of retro-rock’n’roll! We haven’t had a hit single since 1916 but I hear we’re getting pretty big in Japan lately.” Adam — History.