NOW THIS IS THE story of the sons of Chomsky, or Noam of the Ark, which was also named the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In the year 2008, Steven who is called Pinker, King of all the Psycholinguists set down to scripture ‘The Stuff of Thought’.
And Steven came down from the Harvard and said, “Behold, the people shall speak not in confounded language. For I have solved linguistics. Once and for all. Even that bit about correlating ergative/absolutive case systems to nominative/accusative ones, for the disciple that is Bobaljik has shown us how, with ccommanding anaphors. In Inuit. And the precise syntax of ‘fuck yow’. For it sort of means ‘may you be fucked’, Which makes it subjunctive-ish. To put it simply".
And so the people found that they were once again of one speech, greatly though this did displease the French. And speech was again perfect. For language was now no longer a mere vessel of communication, and it did express with such clarity that the word for cat really did mean cat in all its essence. Humans, united again, did return to the plains of Shinar, intent om finishing the tower whose top may reach to the sky, even the tower of Babel.
This gave the Dawkins who is called Richard cause for greatjoy. "Let us make brick and burn it for stone, and use slime for mortar. Actually, sod that, let’s use proper metal and stuff. Try scattering that across the earth you bastard!” And Noam, who now possessed over 900 years, requested: “Can you put in an elevator please? Because I’m getting pretty old now”. Freed at last from the shackles of teaching linguistics to uninterested exchange students who spend lectures taking pictures of him on their iPhones, Noam rejoiced: “George Bush is a terrorist!”
“Kiun la seksumi vi aspektis? Forfikigu!” spake the Lord as the Dawkins reached the gates of Heaven. “Mercy”, exclaimed Steven, “for I had forgotten about Esperanto, being, as it is, a non-organic language falling thusly outside of the study of human language”. And thus did the Lord most mightily stove in their heads, especially the Dawkins, who the lord did forever after name ‘la putinfilaco’.
AMEN