Square White Guy, Funny Black Guy
This hilarious buddy movie throws together unlikely duo Square White Guy and Funny Black Guy in a scenario which is never properly explained. Some sort of road trip ensues involving a hot pursuit by the forces of the law-owing to a hilarious identity mix up which befalls Minor Asian Sidekick. Through the shared bonding experience of this hilarious Bonnie and Clyde-esque road trip Square White Guy learns to be a bit more street while Funny Black Guy has his horizons expanded beyond the ghetto.
Heartwarming Tripe
This family film shows the triumph of an upper-middle-class white suburban family over seemingly impossible odds. The two parents are overworked in their relentless, well-paying office jobs and the kids are unhappy because this means that they may not be able to vacation in the Bahamas as promised. Thankfully, an elderly woman intervenes and teaches the whole family that sometimes work and money are overrated, leading the family to reconnect and become, ironically, even bigger rugged individualists than ever.
Inanimate Object and the Socially Awkward Kid
Existential thriller in which precociously-talented-child-actor-du-jour plays a poor suburban schmuck, bullied at school for being short, fat and Jewish. He finds comfort in an unlikely talking inanimate object that restores his confidence and halts his downward spiral into life as a crack addict. Having a biology-defying talking object as a chum makes basic social skills unnecessary and the schmuck grows up to live happily ever after as a neurotic Jewish comedian.
Boys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses
When a new loner-girl with brownish-hair and glasses arrives at Lady Elephant Trolls School for Girls, the popular girls, Marissa, Tamzin and Tallulah decide to give her a fabulous makeover! After taking Jenna shopping for the most chic clothes and employing über-gay Chico to give her a kick-ass new ‘do, they all realise that there’s nothing quite like girl-friends...
What follows is 50 minutes of the most uninhibited sex seen in cinema this year.
Teenage Wankathon
Loudmouth Sleazer is invited to the house party of a group of people he doesn’t know. An initial period of social awkwardness designed to resonate with the teenage audience is soon remedied by Loudmouth’s well rehearsed jokes on sex and rohypnol. Soon everyone is eating out of his hand, especially Flirtatious Rich Girl. Somehow Flirtatious Rich Girl disappears up her own ass, leaving Loudmouth Sleazer wondering how he’ll score any poonani and the audience wondering why they paid admission. Fortunately, help is at hand for both parties as salvation arrives in the form of Mega Slut. Loudmouth Sleazer recycles his cliché ridden routine and all parties win sexual satisfaction of one sort or another. So join Loudmouth Sleazer as his night unfolds, with hilarious consequences.