“ALRIGHT DARLIN’? Looking for a bit of company tonight?” If you know where to go, you might hear those words being muttered in the backstreets. If you know where to look, you might see luscious, living skin and bountiful breasts peering at you from the phoneboxes lining Tottenham Court Road. As a young man, there are plenty of sights for you to see in London. But you won’t find me in these places, I’m a speciality; some might even say I’m an institution…
I’ve dealt with your kind aplenty; you walk past at first, flashing a glance in my direction, hoping to catch my unseeing eye. I love that initial, virginal curiosity. Yes poppet, I’m your forbidden fruit. I may be a lot older but you’re dying to have me. I know what happens next, you’ll tell your friends you’re off to the library and then you’ll skulk around, you’ll look and you’ll even try to touch.
You probably never saw anything like me back home. Elsewhere you had to dig to get hold of my talents. Well not me; my wares are on full view to anyone who walks past. I love being on display, giving the punters what they want. You try to peek between my thighs, but I’m pressing my knees together to tease you. You love the way I dress, it’s more authentic and I do it all for you. You don’t want any of that fishnet nonsense, a wicker hat and white stockings is more your style. It’ll cost you extra sweetie, but it’ll be worth it.
You’re embarrassed aren’t you? A nice boy like you with something like me; what would your parents say if they knew? Well of course you’ve got a girlfriend, you all do. It’s none of my business if she can’t give you what you want. I see all kinds Mister, I’m an agony aunt to some, a plaything for others. Even the big wigs like me near to their offices; I sit in the Cloisters, all for them. I believe in the greatest happiness for the greatest number, I’m open to anyone, regardless of race, creed and gender. Just so long as the price is right.
Oh, exhibitionist are we? You want me here, in full view? Well it’ll cost you extra and you’ll have to open up my cabinet. No, I do mean that literally and you’d better watch out for my plaque; my head too actually, it’s prone to coming off. I suppose I’d better introduce myself. A long time ago, before times got hard, I used to be known as Bentham. Never mind that now sweetheart, you can call me Jerry…