The Time Machine

Humour / 1 December 2006

Letters to the Editor: Concerned, R. Kilray-Scrote

The Humour Desk
Would you let this hoover marry your daughter?

Would you let this hoover marry your daughter?

I recently encountered the dangers of immigration firsthand. Yesterday morning I heard my cleaner enter the flat; presumably to clear away the Stella cans and rancid kebab meat from the Jim Davidson DVD marathon I had held the night before. I could barely concentrate as I watched Nick Griffin’s latest speech on YouTube. So I stepped out to berate the fat bitch for making such a racket, when I was confronted with a ‘Numatic’!

Would you let this hoover marry your daughter?

My heart dropped as I realised my pure white sandwich crumbs will no longer be hoovered up by faithful Henry, the bastion of British cleaning since the days of the Raj.

heading down the dole office, but I couldn’t tell for sure; I could only see the eyes. How many loyal Henrys are dwindling away alone at home with nothing more than the front room to clean? How many more are slumped in front of ‘Deal or No Deal’ whilst dreaming of acres of filthy residences to cleanse? How long before house prices crash? What will be the cost to the NHS?

This is yet another example of this country going to the dogs. What about brave work these proud red machines carried out during the Blitz? Have we forgotten this? Thatcher would have them all sent back.

Concerned, R. Kilray-Scrote.

Jerusalem House

Tunbridge Wells

The Shire

The Cheese Grater is always keen to hear your views and opinions. Please send all correspondence to: cheese_ grater_magazine_society@ucl. ac.uk